


Oh Brother

by Q_it



Series: The Pun Verse [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: 12 eateries and counting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Butt Dimples, F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3986770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Q_it/pseuds/Q_it
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy and Loki's first dinner date doesn't go quite as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh Brother

“His butt dimples are fabulous.”

Thor choked out a laugh through his sushi and Jane face-palmed, keeping a wary eye on their waitress. “Darcy, really?”

Thor finished chewing, a smile on his blonde-bearded face. “Come now, Jane. Darcy is simply in love. I am happy for her.”

Darcy smiled gloatingly at Jane, her spirits alight with a happiness that didn’t seem to die. She and Loki had been together for about two months now and it was apparent that they weren’t breaking up anytime soon. In fact, they were talking about moving in together. It wouldn’t be too hard. They lived right next door to each other after all.

Their relationship was spectacular. Loki was spectacular.

It took her a while to pry information out of him. He always kept his secrets locked up. But she was determined. Darcy found out that not only was Loki a gorgeous, sexy musician; he was a rich, gorgeous, sexy musician. He had composed scores for several blockbuster movies, many of which were some of Darcy’s favorites. Yet, for some reason, he stopped.

For almost a year he hadn’t published anything new.

But he wouldn’t tell her why.

Darcy had reason to suspect it was something to do with his family mostly because he never talked about them.

And by never, she meant NE-VER. Ever. Not once. Even if she brought them up, he didn’t mention a god damn thing.

Still, she didn’t push him. If he didn’t want to talk about his family, he didn’t have to.

Besides, they were probably really boring anyways compared to the friends she kept.  Recently, Darcy had gotten accustomed to spending lunch with Jane and her new boyfriend, Thor Odinson.

Now, Thor, that man had some great family stories and a seemingly endless supply of them as well. Darcy’s favorites of Thor’s tales were usually those of his brother, who, from Thor’s perspective, seemed to be quite a trickster. Thor told them countless recollections of him and his unnamed brother getting into trouble together. It was kind of adorable the way Thor told it. But also very sad, for he didn’t seem to hold the same relationship with his brother nowadays.

“Aw, shucks. Thanks Big Guy. I’m happy for me too.” Darcy smiled, skillfully shoving a bite of sushi in her mouth.

jane smirked. “She might be in love, but that kind of grin only comes from good sex.”

Darcy’s mouth grew tight in a smile over the food that filled her cheeks. Her silly face caused Thor to laugh, putting an arm around Jane. “A fair point. Perhaps that is why I find myself more understanding of Darcy’s sentiment as of late.”

At this, Darcy spat out her half-chewed salmon nigiri onto their unfortunate waitress who had just stopped by to ask them how lunch was going. Jane might have noticed if she had not chosen that moment to abandon her lunch in favor of eating Thor’s face. Darcy hurriedly apologized, but the poor waitress was already rushing away to the bathroom.

“Eww. Gross. Guys. You made me spit on the waitress.” Darcy whined. Though, she had to admit, her friends were pretty cute together.

Jane finally settles back into her space in the booth looking like the cat who ate the canary. “Darcy, between you and Thor, we’re going to get kicked out of every restaurant in D.C.”

Darcy sipped her soda, waving off her friend. “We’ve just only been to crappy places.”

“We’ve been kicked out of twelve restaurants. In the past month. Twelve.”

The brunette held up her hands in defense. “Hey, don’t put this all on me. You don’t see me face-squishing with my attractive man-candy in public.”

Thor raised a blonde brow. “You are quite right, Darcy. In fact, neither Jane nor I have seen your supposed suitor.”

“So?”

“We do not even know his name.” Thor continued teasingly. “What if he does not truly exist?”

“Then I thank my brain for giving me the best hallucinated sex of my life.” Darcy replied promptly. “And for hallucinating up those butt dimples. Because...damn.”

Thor laughed, lifting his beverage a bit too merrily so the perspiring glass slipped from his fingers and flew straight across the restaurant to hit the wall next to the waitress Darcy had coughed sushi onto.

The three lunch companions all shared a quick look of both mirth and disbelief. Thor promptly held up a finger. “Not one word.”

Darcy, not to be bossed around, broke into a fit of rib-cracking laughter, only managing to holler out one word. “ANOTHER!”

Thor cracked too, his deep laughs boisterous and dominating of the entire restaurant. Jane laughed too, a high pitched chiming sound that contrasted quite nicely with Thor’s earth-quaking chortles. “We should leave before they call the cops like that one time at Izzy’s.”

Darcy and Thor both sighed fondly in memory before packing up their half eaten meals and calling for a bill.

On their way back to SHIELD Headquarters, Thor began their long practiced game of trying to guess Darcy’s boyfriend’s name.

“Garret?”

“Nope.”

“Darell?”

“Naw aw.”

“Griswald.”

“Not even close.”

Thor groaned in defeat and Jane gave him a reassuring pat on the arm. “Enough of this. One day, Darcy Lewis, you will give in and tell me.”

Darcy opened her mouth to argue when Jane interrupted. “But until then...Darcy, are you sure you don’t want to come with us tonight?”

Thor beamed. “Yes! Darcy, bring your boyfriend! I’m sure both of you will do wonders to lighten my brother’s spirits. Not to mention, he does enjoy a nice bought of banter occasionally. There are few who are witty enough to converse as he likes. That, and I do not think he has left his house in the past couple of months.”

Darcy cringed. “Dude, no. I already told you guys, said-boyfriend and I are already going out on our first formal dinner date and I’m going to meet his brother. Apparently he and his family don’t really get along.”

Thor nodded knowingly, “It is a common occurrence, I am sure.”

“Besides,” Darcy continued, popping open her styrofoam box and finishing her lunch with her fingers, “Your brother sounds like a shut in. And a recluse. A really boring recluse.”

“I suppose…” Thor said contemplatively, his humored grin getting just a little wider. “I suppose his butt dimples would not meet your expectations anyhow.”

The three friends laughed on their way back to work, managing to accidentally cough sushi on a police officer.

 

Later that evening...

“Darling, are you quite sure about this?” Loki asked, offering Darcy his hand to help her out of their cab.

She slinked out of the car, not hesitating to grip onto his arm as they walked towards the chic restaurant Loki was taking her to in order for her to meet his brother and his brother’s girlfriend. He still hadn’t told her anything about his family. Not any bad things, not any good things, not their professions, not even their names. The only thing she was aware of is that they were wealthy. Loki had let it slip once in conversation.

But Darcy was ready. She wanted to meet his family. She wanted to know who the bastards were that made him so distant. She needed to know why the only time his heavy cold gare lifted was when their skin touched.

“I’m sure.” Darcy assured and Loki’s frown deepened.

Darcy hated it when he frowned. Her daily personal goal was to make him smile as many times as possible.

Shaking her head, she stopped them on the sidewalk, cupping his face in her hands. “Hey, look at me.”

His gaze, that had been trained exclusively on his black dress shoes, slowly raked up her body, noticing the effort she put in. Her dress was well fitted, black, displaying a fair amount of skin. Just enough to be alluring while still holding a certain elegance. Her hair was curled into pretty ringlets and her lips were red.

Yet, it was her eyes that he held onto. Because her eyes spoke with sincerity no words could ever convey.

Her thumbs brushed over his cheekbones as she talked. “Trust me, Loki. No big bad wolf is going to eat you up while I’m here. Alright? I’ve got my taser. I’ll totally shoot him down if need be.”

Darcy rejoiced at the small smile and light chuckle Loki gave. It made her heart do a thing. A really great thing. “Gods, woman, I love you.”

Words weren’t accurate enough to describe what she felt for him. Instead, she made do with a kiss. It was tender, dramatic, a little wet, probably a little too long for standing on the sidewalk in front of a fancy eatery with a French name Darcy couldn’t pronounce.

Finally, they pulled away from each other and chuckled at the red lipstick that was smeared over both their mouths. They took a few seconds to tidy their faces before linking fingers and walking into Le-Fancy-Rich-People-Place.

Loki approached the hostess with ease and was beginning to state his brother’s name for their reservation when Darcy saw, from a short distance away, a big blonde beefy guy who she went to lunch with sometimes.

“Thor!”

He turned to her, his face alighting with a white grin. “Darcy!”

They moved towards each other to embrace in a very bro-like hug that managed to crack Darcy’s back in all the right places. “What are you doing here?! I thought you had a date with Jane and your brother!”

Thor nodded, “I am! Jane is using the toilet. I was just waiting for…” he looked up and caught sight of Loki who still had remnants of Darcy’s red lipstick on his pale skin and an angry glare set in his features directed at where Thor’s arms met Darcy. “...Loki.”

Confusion swept over Darcy’s mind for the barest of seconds before she caught on. “Aw, shit. Thor, what the FUCK!?”

Everyone in the restaurant seemed to direct their proper stares at Darcy with a look of sheer amazement while the hostess looked strictly taken back.

Thor pulled away from his short friend. “What?! Darcy, how was I supposed to know you were dating my brother!?”

She waved her arms, almost comically. “I told you what his butt dimples looked like! His butt. Dimples. How did you not know immediately?! Oh GOD! Now you know everything….”

Thor’s face morphed quickly from disbelief to mortification. “Oh gods, I know everything. Darcy! I did not need to know these things about my own brother!”

“Well, maybe if you had just told me his name--”

“--or you could have--”

“God fucking dammit. What is it with you weirdos and not telling people their names! Family communication 101! Didn’t your parents teach you anything about sharing important information with each other?!” Darcy huffed.

The restaurant was dead silent. Everyone’s eyes were on the three people in the main lobby.

And then…

There was laughter.

Thor, who had been staring at Darcy, dumbstruck, was now bent at the waist, clutching his gut.

And what could be more surprising than that?

Loki was cracking up.

Believe it or not, Darcy had never actually seen Loki laugh so hard. But now, his eyes were crinkled and his smile was wide as he came up beside Darcy to wrap an arm around her waist.

Darcy was lost. She had no idea what was going on.

The booming sounds ebbed away after a while as Thor and Loki stood straighter up to look each other in the eyes.

It seemed, for the barest moment, like all was well. The hostess walked over, as if she might forgive them for disturbing the peace when Thor brought up his fist and clocked Loki right on his sharp edged cheekbone.

Darcy gasped, horrified as Loki jerked back cupping his cheek.

“That was for New York, brother.” Thor said promptly, shaking out his hand. “I am sorry.”

Loki inclined his head towards his brother and Darcy imagined he position would have been much better suited if he had horns. “Don’t be, brother.” And he brought his fist up to meet Thor’s jaw. “That was for my entire life, before New York.”

The blonde looked up, eyes flashing with malicious purpose and Darcy thoughtfully stepped out of the way as Loki adorned a similar expression. Within seconds they were on the floor, beating the living shit out of each other and yelling a mix of blames.

“That was for mother!”

“You never cared about anyone but yourself!”

“Liar!”

“Oaf!”

Darcy watched in awe, unsure if she was supposed to be turned on or angry that they were about to be kicked out of yet another restaurant in D.C.

A minute later, Jane was at her friend’s side. “So, what did I miss?”

At that moment, Thor grabbed Loki in a choke hold while the latter elbowed his brother in the abdomen.

Darcy shrugged. “Eh, nothing much.”

Jane sighed, “I really wanted to just have a normal dinner….do you have anything to make them stop?”

The brunette snapped her fingers, remembering her taser. She reached into her purse, rooting around for a moment before aiming at the really attractive pile of sexy muscle fighting. “Dude, I don’t know which one I’m going to get.”

Jane gave a noncommittal sigh, taking out her phone. “I don’t really care. Just make them stop. As for eateries that we have NOT been banned from...the closest one is a McDonalds. Wanna hit up some MickyDee’s?”

“I could go for that.” Darcy nodded, pulling the trigger on her taser, the nodes electrocuting Thor right in the center of his chest.

Loki stumbled to his feet, wiping blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. Ashamedly, he looked to Darcy. “Darling, I feel as though I owe you some explanation.”

Darcy raised her brows, trying her damndest not to focus too hard on how god damn sexy he looked all roughed up. His tie was off keeter and his hair was tousled. He was lucky she didn’t tackle him right then and there. “Yes. Yes you do.”

She reached out her hand to him and he took it cautiously. With great care, Darcy kissed his swollen knuckles. “Darling?”

Sighing, Darcy released his hand, nodding to Thor. “Pick up your brother. We’ll all just sit down and have a chat about all this while I shove french fries up Thor’s nose while and take pictures to post on facebook and use as blackmail.”

So, they all went to McDonalds and drank milkshakes while Loki talked and Darcy shoved a total of ten french fries up each of Thor’s nostrils. It was such good fun that even Jane laughed until Thor woke up and sneezed fried potato all over everyone at the table.

After a few grumbled accusations, he and Loki apologized to one another with a short manly handshake. Though, eventually, they gave in and granted each other proper hugs that would have made their mother cry tears of joy.

At two in the morning, McDonald's kicked them out for starting a food fight in the empty kids indoor play park. In all honesty, it was Jane who started it.

Overall, it was a pretty good night. On the cab ride home, Darcy noticed something distinctly different about Loki.

It wasn’t just the lettuce in his hair of the blood on his lip, but a certain weight seemed to have been lifted off of his mouth, freeing his lips up for all the smiles Darcy had to give him.

And a good thing too, because she had a lot of smiles to offer.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I posted this before, but there were errors in it that I missed. The perfectionist inside me wanted to work out a few of the kinks before posting it again. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
